Life
Friday, February 9, 2007, 09:26 AM [General]
A
time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst
of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! Enough
fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at
the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's
time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for
happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale
endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense
of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are
not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to
their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving
and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming
other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and
you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the
unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or
mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you
and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own
and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing
fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of
peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of
the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of
all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your
psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed
about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should
weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much
money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should
live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising
children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn
to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin
reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you
stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your
next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are
not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds
together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn
that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and
that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between
guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and
learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one
you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you
learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop
giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as
they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to
control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does
not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings
aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to
want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it
is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you
deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and
you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your
temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You
begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to
exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty
and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body,
laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making
it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no
one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You
learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron
of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your
fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to
give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own
terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't
always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these
occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't
punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life
happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -
the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and
resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the
life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn
to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You
learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things
we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can
only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm
bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for
yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the
wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to
stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your
heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath,
and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
